Monday, January 28, 2013

too many rocket scientists

once Shep and i got hooked up with Gracie, after rolling around Huntsville for an hour or so, we found this, pointing at the dude's garage loft apartment we were coming to get to drag along on our weekend adventure.  was it a sign?  an omen?  dunno, but it pointed in the direction we were headed, which in hindsight, makes me wonder if we should have gone the other way...

one of a few places that did satisfy was a small taco joint where i scored a green chili burrito and two beers for $5.37.  seemed to be nothing short of miraculous with hippy kids running something that is easy, quick, and you can drink outside - which is always a plus when riding bicycles.  we dropped a couple beers there, and then headed into downtown via the long way incorporating some hills and dales.

the wash rinse repeat was rockin' autopilot with the arrival and quick run in a bar, stay long enough to drink a beer, then jump back on the bikes to plow on to the next location.  you know, fun.  we tried to bring out one of the local drink.ride. kinda guys i've heard about.  with text messaging pictures of us having a great time mixed with encouraging statements, we just couldn't give this dude the heart he needed to get on his horse and come out to play.  then again, once he asked who it was, and i answered, all communication stopped.  that could mean something too.

but like i said...  these guys gatta get some beauty sleep to keep the rockets from killing everybody.

once ditched down to just me and shep, we headed to where we would be laying our heads for the evening.

the next morning found us asleep in the basement of a dude who started and owns a chess set company.  and this dude does not fuck around.  hand carved prototypes lead the way to hand waxed and polished pieces made of precious woods with the finesse of a seasoned craftsman.  not only do i have a thing for chess, i really like well made stuff.  and this was not only well made, it was about the best that it gets.  needless to say, i was having a blast.  and then...

he goes into this description about how he had imported ivory, which was well documented to be pre-embargo and dated around the 1850.  customs got a hold of it and said not only was it against the law (it wasn't) but they destroyed it as well.  1850's ivory.  destroyed.

so you know what this mother fucker does?

he says, well.  elephants are endangered.  i'm a cool dude, and don't want to rattle cages or cause problems.  i'll make sure no one can get mad.

...and he starts using wooly mammoth ivory.  he has Siberians digging up frozen wooly mammoths from 40,000 years ago, so he can make $20,000.00 chess sets from the tusks.

fuck you.

Wooly Mammoth.

 yeah. hey John Wayne, make a little room at the head of the table.

so with that, and a belly full of breakfast, we hit the road and rode some dirt and had some hang over helper to clear the fuzzy, continuing our adventure.  there is something fun about riding around a town where you come to a dead end and jump on the local mountain bike trail just to pop out on the other side and ride your bicycle to Space Camp!

they wouldn't let me in.

but they let us in the gift shop where i met a real life person that works in a gift shop at a space place selling trinkets and novelties about space and stuff and has to wear this silly jump suit and have idiots like me barrel in wanting to take a picture with them who keep calling them astronauts.

but they aren't.

they're kids trying to make a few bucks and they dig space, which is more fun that making burritos or working at the pharmacy handing out saline enemas.

so, all in all it was a very good time full of fun and beers and stupid and not much sleep and a shit ton of riding all over town.  will i go back?  yeah, gatta ride more of the dirt and eat some more of them cheap ass burritos, but this time we're gunna make sure the locals join in.

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