Wednesday, January 23, 2013

the solution to polution is dilution

this last weekend found my sorry ass in the Redneck Riviera utilizing my Moonlander for one of the things it was actually designed for.

i had never been to Floribama before, other than driving through many moons ago on my way from Orlando to Tuscaloosa...  (i don't want to talk about it), and the polarization of Destin vs. Panama City was earth shattering.  at one point, it looked like the set of the Stepford Wives.  but once you cross from where the Richie Rich roamed, into something a little more like my actual reality, i could not begin to create prose that describes it any better than Bubba does.

luckily it was the off season and the beaches and bars were thinly peppered with locals, and there was not a Bubba to be seen.  between Goatfeathers and the Salty Goat, both sides of the coin were tasted, and both were awesome.  seein' as how this was kinda my first real relaxing vacation in a very, very long time, it just seemed right to enjoy both diamonds and dirt.  and you know what, i like dirt way more than diamonds.

and speaking of diamonds, the visit to the Salty Goat in Panama was my kind of dirty.  thirty five Harleys lined the perimeter of the open air bar, and the HOGs greeted five inch knobbies like long lost brothers.

 (photo cred: Glitter Gravel)

i knew it was the right place when one of the boys walked over to his sled, pulled a bottle of whiskey out of his bag, and started passing it around the bar.  these are my people.  in fact, i do believe these ladies speak my language (and they are the bar tenders).

once the tab was paid, the final stop before bedtime was Bud red on the beach under the moonlight.

this was definitely the beginning of how the rest of my year is gunna be if i have anything to do with it.

and there was only thing that made me frown laughing...

after seven hours of driving, a couple of Pottsville's finest brewed in Florida, and bouncing around on 6psi for a couple hours, it was time to release the hounds.  in an effort to help BP continue to reek havoc on Floribama's shores, i had no other choice but to join in on the fun.

and much like BP got their reward, karma leveled the playing field with me as well.

but i'll tell you what, it was an absolute blast.  i gots tons of pics and i blew my wad on instagram and fakebook, so you'll have to settle for this shot, which i didn't even take, and honestly just doesn't do the beauty of it justice.  but if running out of toilet paper is as bad as it gets, i will happily use my socks to wipe my ass for the rest of my life, as long as the sunsets outweigh the shit hand.

(photo cred: Glitter Gravel)

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