Friday, February 15, 2013

while you were asleep...

i was eating a heart shaped pizza from Papa Johns.  happy VD day... yesterday.  you know, all of you single people who went to bars last night looking for someone to wake up with, or wake up next to and quietly sneak out without waking the dog.  yeah, ladies too.  y'all dirty as any other guy.  sittin' in a bar peering over yer glass of emotional lubrication working hard to lower your standards and ethics for a piece of ass and a ;little comfort for the night.

cuz that's what we are all doing.  it's still primal kids.  totally.  we have yet to make the collective leap into the next evolution of humanity, which will be less useless violence and more intelligent decisions.  but, with the fear bore into our psyche from the onslaught of bird flu, asteroid collisions, terrorism, and basically scared to death somebody will lose their shit and just start shooting up the place, we're much to busy to smell the roses.  we just wanna fuck and drink.

then again, most of the smells these days are peppered with exhaust and chlorine.

but i digress.  seems while the western hemisphere was slumbering after a night of lonely drinking or crazy monkey sex, there was a little pop on the other side of the world.

Kapow mother fucker!  a Russian cleric says it's the Lord's message.  the way i read it, he's saying we all need to be cool about it.  unfortunately most people get all, don't you tell me what to do.  stupid people.  from what i've read, no one was hurt, but a bunch of damage was done, windows busted, roofs smashed, etc.  ...and it's gunna be 17 degrees.  well, its night time there as of when i'm pecking this out, so it's probably cold as balls.

so while God was reigning down terror onto the masses of Siberia, i was in the woods finding peace of mind, being kept warm and fuzzy by the Minister's Wooly goodness.

so yeah, that happened.

if you make it through today without finding warts on your junk, head out to meet up with the New Kids on the Block for some roady fun.  Music City Cycling is having the second act to last weekends ride, the Lickety Split.  it'll be fun, i promise.  if it's not, buy an Icee and through it on one of the organizers.  it'll be cold enough to make it suck, as well as teach a life lesson.

so head off to enjoy your weekend.  i'm gunna, even if it's at your expense.

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